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Dump cake

3/16/2017

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Third grade was hard for me. It was a challenging year for several reasons; In addition to some things at home, math and I did not get along. My teacher was young and ahead of her time. Her approach to hands on learning was still pretty unconventional in the late 1970's - early 80's. I vividly remember the patience she possessed as I shed many tears at the hands of multiplication and division. I also recall the day she decided to break up the monotony of the school day by letting us BAKE. The first time I ever baked anything was in that class. Ms. Bole decided to let us make a "Dump Cake". It was absolutely the easiest, most kid friendly recipe ever, because you literally dump the four ingredients in a pan, top it with butter and voilà!...deliciousness!

I thought it was a magical recipe but I also loved that our teacher trusted us to such a grown-up activity. The kitchen was a serious place in my house, filled with hot, sharp, fragile things...not a place for kids. Getting to bake something, even as simple and haphazard as a Dump Cake, was pretty much the highlight of my academic career up until that point.
 
I have never forgotten that day and actually let Ms. Bole know it almost immediately after reconnecting with her on social media (which also just one of my most favorite things in the world!). Years later, when I became a teacher myself, I often used cooking and baking in my classroom. I always thought about Ms. Bole and how ahead of her time she must have been. When most teachers were teaching out of textbooks, she was lugging groceries and dishes to school in an effort to make school fun and exciting. 

So here's my point: we never really know what a small gesture may mean to another person. Whether an ordinary, easy thing or something that takes a little more planning and effort, the results often bring about all sorts of much needed feelings in someone else...and memory that may stay with them for the rest of their life. 

I don't even know the last time I made Dump Cake,  but tonight, as I threw together that easy dessert, I thought of Ms. Bole. I thought of how much she taught me that year. I thought about how her patience with me as I struggled with math gave me a little more faith in myself, and how fun she made learning even when things got difficult. I reflected on how grateful I am to still be in touch with her, 38 years later, and to be able to let her know how thankful I am for her. 

That's really what kindness does. Nothing fancy and not at all difficult. Just dump in a whole lot of goodness and voilà!

 DUMP CAKE
1 20 oz can crushed pineapple
1 21 oz can cherry (or blueberry) pie filling
1 pkg cake mix (yellow or white)
1 cup chopped pecans
1/2 cup butter, cut into slices

Preheat oven 350 degrees. Grease 13x9 inch dish.
Dump pineapple, with juice, into pan. Spread evenly.
Dump pie filling evenly over pineapple.
Dump entire dry cake mix over fruit.
Sprinkle nuts over cake mix.
Place cut butter slabs evenly on top.
Bake 50 minutes or until top is brown and fruit is bubbly.
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(thank you, Ms. Bole!)
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No photo evidence

3/9/2017

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I spent the afternoon looking for kindness in New York City. I wanted to capture it on my camera and write about it today.

I walked several blocks and stopped in a deli to order a fresh juice. 
I sat for a while in Bryant Park.
When it started to get chilly, I headed home. Along the way, I stepped into a little shop that always has good deals.
I went to the best pharmacy/chemist in the city to pick up some vitamins.
Now, just around the corner from home, I'm sitting in our new very spacious neighborhood Starbucks.
I didn't manage to take a single photo of anyone being kind. But I saw it EVERYWHERE.

At the deli, the sweet girl making juices smiled at me and then at the person behind me, treating us as if we were the first person she'd taken care of all day. She sang a little song to the seemingly shy older man sweeping the floor and he smiled bashfully in return.

At the park, two boys were walking home after school, throwing a football between them as they walked. They were careful to not bother anyone and waited as people passed by. After a rather impressive long bomb, a man sitting at a table started clapping, to which a nearby couple joined in the applause. The boys laughed and waved as everyone around them smiled.

As I headed home, a woman stepped out of cab and tripped, falling down on the street, just shy of the curb. A well dressed man in a suit and standing nearby immediately ran to her side. As he took her hand and helped her up, a woman approached, asking if she was OK, dusting the dirt off the back of her coat for her. The woman who had fallen appeared to be from out of town. Both strangers helped get her luggage from the cab to the sidewalk, checking several times that she didn't need any more help before wishing her well and waving goodbye.

In the shop that always has good deals, the UPS man was delivering several boxes. The three ladies who worked there offered him a water and chatted with him as they all worked together to get the boxes out of the way of customers. As he left they said, "Thank you! You're our favorite!"

At the chemist, a woman asked an employee about a specific vitamin. After his helpful response, another customer approached the woman and struck up a conversation based on the one she had just overheard. They spent several minutes, these two strangers, offering advice and compassion to one another, recommending what had worked for each of them. They parted ways with thanks and appreciation.

And now, at my neighborhood Starbucks, I sit here, realizing I don't have a single photo to share with you, dear reader. But know this, your kindness is noticed. And more than that, it matters. It makes the world go round. Surely I wasn't the only one to see it today. I was impacted by it and wasn't the direct recipient of any of it. Isn't that just kind of magical? Thank you, friends.
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Kindness is free

3/7/2017

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When Tess started planning her 9th birthday, she thought about how much kindness she could show to the people in her town. The concept of celebrating by giving instead of getting wasn't new to her. Her older sister, Olivia, has been doing acts of kindness around her community on her birthday for years. And three years ago Tess collected children's books to donate to a local medical clinic in an underserved area. But this year was different. This year, Tess wanted to to have a full fledged Birthday Project themed party.

With the help of her mom and dad, she came up with the idea to do something kind for the families who are staying at the nearby Ronald McDonald House. She learned about the organization and is happy to talk about exactly what makes it special.

"They really help families a lot. If there is a family member who is sick and has to be at the hospital, the Ronald McDonald House lets the family stay there. Especially if they don't have enough money to keep staying at a hotel. That way they can stay there and not have to worry."

Tess and her parents contacted RMH to find out how they could best be of service to the families there. They came up with a list of items and asked each invited party guest to select something from the list to bring in lieu of a birthday gift.  "I was fine to not get presents because it was much more fun to help other people who needed things," Tess said.

It occurred to Tess that her dentist might be able to help her celebrate, so she wrote him a letter explaining how she planned to spend her birthday and asked him if he'd be willing to donate some things. He happily replied with as many toothbrushes and tubes of toothpaste as she needed to get the job done. 

When her friends arrived on the day of the party, the house was decorated and the atmosphere was festive. The guests came bearing gifts of lotions, shampoo, small toys and treats to fill the bags and in return, each girl was given a t-shirt that read "Kind is Cool". The girls decorated enough bags for the 32 families currently staying at the Ronald McDonald House and then filled them with all the items, topping each one off with some homemade chocolate chip cookies they made, as well!

Delivering the bags was fun. "We had to take two cars to get there. When we got there our arms were full bringing everything inside. They showed us around and we even got to play in the playroom for a little while! I wish we could have met the families but I'm glad they'll get the bags we made."

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​After the outing, the party crew returned home for dinner and birthday cake followed by a dance contest, a late movie, snacks, and finally (eventually) a very late bedtime. Tess said all her friends "really liked the party and had fun". Her favorite part of the party was "that we were able to help families in need". I asked her what she would say to someone who wasn't sure their child would like celebrating a birthday by giving gifts instead of getting them. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well, I would tell them to try it. It's fun to do things for other people, especially if you are with your friends. And it's really easy because, well, kindness is free."

When asked if she'd celebrate her next birthdays by doing something kind for others and what she might do differently in the future, her big brown eyes widened. "Yes, I would definitely do it again. And the only thing I'd do differently next time is go to bed earlier!".
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Hutch

3/6/2017

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I met Hutch one day in the most unusual way. As I crossed the street, he was sitting in his wheelchair on the corner, straight ahead of me. In a sea of thousands, our eyes met for just a second, and he smiled at me as if he knew me. I smiled back and nodded a quick "hello". Honestly, I don't even remember exactly what Hutch said to me after that, but it was something kind and familiar, inquiring about how I was doing. It was as if a soft warm glow just radiated off of him.

By all appearances, Hutch's life isn't an easy one. I don't know his story; I didn't ask. I just stood and spoke to him for a few minutes, as he absolutely gushed over what a beautiful day it was, what a blessing it is to be alive, and how much we have to be thankful for. He didn't have a sign or a sad story. He wasn't asking for anything in return. Just a big smile and a crowd of thousands to encourage and cheer on as they passed him by on a busy day.

I'm trying to remember Hutch and his grateful heart on the days when I don't feel very cheerful or optimistic. I think about him sitting in his chair somewhere in this city. No legs, big smile, grateful heart. Reminding me what a blessing it is to be alive.
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Balloon blessings

3/5/2017

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I met Iveliz as she was heading home from work early one evening. She smiled and said hello to me and my daughters, a Party City bag on one arm. She occasionally stops there to pick up some balloons to keep on hand. It's just a fun hobby and a way to connect with others on the busy streets and subways of New York City, offering a kind word and a cute balloon animal to children with their parents. Iveliz told us that she is so blessed and she just wants to remind people that God loves them and give them a little smile at the end of what might be a difficult or frustrating day. There was something completely pure and unassuming about her as she talked to me and my children, quickly and casually fashioning simple creatures from colorful skinny balloons. Wanting absolutely nothing in return but a few moments of human connection, one can't not adore her almost immediately. I wondered how many times she's been turned away and yet continues to do this small, seemingly insignificant thing for children as an act of intentional kindness. Iveliz is clearly our kind of girl, just offering the world the simple gift of balloon art in order to bring sweetness and hope to those in her path.  Thank you, Iveliz, for reminding us all how easy it is to love people with the gifts we already possess.
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The Good Guys team

3/4/2017

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Today my cab driver was an Indian man named Zaire. He told me he has lived in Dallas, San Francisco, Nebraska and NYC. We talked about how cynical New York has made him and how the many conversations that take place in his cab have made him too aware of the selfish nature of people. Then he told me about the day he turned his cab around to help a very old man with a flat tire at a gas station. The station was filled with cabs and cars but no one seemed to care about the old man. The elderly man tried to give him $50 after Zaire changed his tire but he refused. The man, clearly confused but very grateful, asked why a cabbie would "waste his time helping a stranger” when he could be making money giving someone else a ride. Zaire told him, ”If my grandfather needed help, I can only hope someone would stop for him". 
Zaire said the man smiled and hugged him so warmly, inviting him to come to his home and join him for dinner any time.

At the end of the conversation I thanked Zaire for not allowing his cynicism change his heart. He told me that no matter what, we have to stay on the “good guys team”. 
​
The Good Guys Team. Recruiting daily.
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The start of something new

3/3/2017

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​FULL TRANSPARENCY: I've been struggling.

A little over two and a half years ago I moved, with my husband and three kids, from a town called Niceville (you can't make this stuff up), to New York City. I threw myself into the whole made-for-TV scenario, got the kids into great schools, helped my husband get his office going and focused on creating a happy, well adjusted life for our family. The truth is, while my family has absolutely flourished here, it's been a challenge for me, personally. I love living in NYC. I am the strange breed who loves the people, the craziness, the fast pace, the excitement, the opportunities. I ride the subway and look at everyone around me, trying to discern their situation in life. I watch the man nodding off on the train and the mom with the fussy toddlers and say a quick prayer for them in the midst of their burdens. I smile at people (which admittedly freaks some out, I am certain).  I try to make sure I always have spare change in my wallet for the homeless vet sleeping on the corner and the talented young musician busking on the platform. Being around the brokenness of humanity makes me aware of life; the good, the bad and the ugly. I feel alive and happy here.

BUT...

Life in a city of 8 million is also challenging, especially when your mission is Intentional Kindness and so many only seem to care about that sort of thing during the holidays when it's all about Good Will Toward Men. I've often felt like I'm shouting into the void in this city, trying to make a real difference but only really making tiny dents wherever I go. The best part of course, is the wonderful, kind people I do meet along the way. The ones who, like me, leave their own tiny dents in their own beautiful, often overlooked ways. 
I was just telling this very thing to a dear, smart friend visiting from out of town, and she asked me why I don't share those stories on my blog. The ones about the cab drivers and cashiers, the police officers and the fellow subway passengers. The ones who inspire and encourage me in this great big, busy city. And suddenly I was reminded of what I already know and tell people all the time: We rise by lifting others.

So that is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to start sharing the stories of kindness that I see everyday with you. Real stories of real people being really kind in the world. I hope you'll follow along and be encouraged. I believe you'll be able to draw inspiration for your own life and start collecting some easy ways to celebrate your birthdays (and the rest of the year too!).
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    Author

    Robyn Bomar; Founder of The Birthday Project; Kindness Consultant, Wife, Mom, Friend.

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  • Home
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  • About TBP
    • The Original 38 Random Acts of {Birthday} Kindess Post
    • In the News
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